Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
