he puts the penis in happiness.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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