he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
