During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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