I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
