my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Did I show you my penis last night?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
