Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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