yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
either way he was missing a nipple.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
