I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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