My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize