So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
