She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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