We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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