I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize