You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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