How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
