Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
