My first STD was from a foam party
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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