I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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