I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
