Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
that's an acceptable place to lick
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
