At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
