just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
