we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize