I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize