I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
