If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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