dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
