So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
