You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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