Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
