So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
