am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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