It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
