Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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