I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize