I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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