so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
