singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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