good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
