come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
