Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
