i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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