I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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