It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize