Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize