Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My vagina just clenched in fear
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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