I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
