Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
