well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
