whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
