is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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