Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think people are normalizing furries
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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