:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
