well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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