i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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