you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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