My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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