we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
