drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
