So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
